Then it’s a No!
Whatever decision you have to make in life, if it’s not a Hell Yeah!, then it should be a No. By taking control over your life and making decisions that you’re actually passionate and excited about, you’ll stop going with the flow, and you’ll start making choices that add value to your life and make you happy. You’ll even free yourself from analysis-paralysis: before even making the decision, you’ll already know what you want, deep down!
Obviously you shouldn’t adopt this mindset in all aspects of your life: what food to eat for lunch, which toilet-stall to use, or what shirt to wear to the gym aren’t exactly life-decisions. But when it comes to choices that have a significant impact on your life, you should never settle. If it’s not a Hell Yeah!, then it’s always a No.
Settling for less
Otherwise, you’ll just settle for a career that you don’t find meaningful, exciting, or satisfying – eventually making you miserable. You’ll be spending countless hours of your day – and countless days a year – doing something that fails to challenge you, stresses you out, or just makes you feel like you’re wasting your time – all while telling yourself that you were born to do better things.
You’ll settle for a relationship in which you’re unhappy, but you’ll stay anyway – either out of convenience, or because you don’t want to hurt your girlfriend’s feelings. Or maybe you’re just scared to be lonely or don’t have the confidence to be totally honest – either with her, or yourself. Since you’re unhappy, you’ll direct all of your anger towards her, fighting over unimportant shit, slowly ruining each other’s lives. You’re not arguing because you’re that sensitive; but because deep down you feel a constant tension eating you up – tension caused by feeling stuck in a relationship that you don’t want, with a person who you don’t love –, falsely blaming the other person for your inability to do something about it.
You’ll settle for friends who you don’t really vibe with, but remain friends, because you’re a good friend who never turns his back on others. You’ll feel guilty for not wanting to meet up with, or talk to them – but out of a sense of duty, you’ll just put your own needs aside and go have a mediocre time with them anyway. You’ll come to see your friends as chores, rather than beautiful people who enhance your life.
If you settle for anything less than a Hell Yeah!, you will never get to chase your dreams and passions, and you’ll shut the door on so many amazing people, experiences, and opportunities. Life will blast right past you, while you’re just cruising on autopilot, eventually accepting mediocrity – never truly satisfied and full of regrets, while constantly asking yourself: is this really it?
You might be stuck…
You might agree with me; or maybe not – and that’s perfectly fine too. But if you do agree with me and adopt this mindset, you might still find yourself stuck in situations you got yourself into with your past decisions. Most people who are stuck in life try to find ways to cope with their situations – but picking the wrong strategy can actually make things worse!
If you’re stuck, you might be telling yourself a comforting lie: that it’s all just temporary. That every bad situation you’re stuck in will somehow magically go away – that you’re just waiting for the right moment. But the right moment never comes… Eventually, you’ll get used to – without ever fully accepting – whatever situation you’re stuck in and finally stop lying to yourself – feeling regret and emptiness instead.
Or, you might realize that you’re stuck, but still have no clue what to do about it. You try to rationalize and validate your situation either out of convenience, comfort, or due to social pressure. You might not want to hurt someone’s feelings, or the unfamiliarity of being unstuck might scare you. Maybe you fear the judgment of other people, or you may not have a Plan B for when you finally free yourself.
Whatever the reason, the first step is to realize and accept the fact that you’re stuck, without lying to yourself – only then can you start working on your confidence to change your situation, and come up with strategies to make it happen. Sure, we all have to compromise sometimes; life is rarely that simple. It might even take time to get yourself in a situation where you don’t have to compromise your most important values and passions anymore. But you have to realize, that you only have one life to live – so, stop lying to yourself, and make a conscious effort to gain more-and-more control over your life, one small step at a time!
Life of Hell Yeah!
Once you consciously start making life-decisions that you’re actually happy with, you’ll feel that your life has improved significantly. You’ll feel more confident and in control, because you’ll be the one leading your life. You’ll feel motivated, and wake up excited about all the awesome things awaiting you that day. You’ll be balanced, and more open to new people, new experiences, and new ideas. You’ll find yourself surrounded by fantastic people, while constantly fighting for your goals and dreams. You’ll feel that you’re exactly where you want to be at the moment in your amazing life, and that you wouldn’t want to switch lives with anyone in the world!